This afternoon while I was busy transforming my chicken house into an art studio, (and that is an entirely different story), my wife, Ilene, was busy in the kitchen cooking a fantastic braised beef dinner. When she said that the only thing she needed was a little more dry red wine, I immediately volunteered to go off to Walmart and purchase some of their budget Merlot. While there I picked up a couple cans of beer and some other items on our shopping list and headed off to the checkout. As the clerk began to ring me up and I was reaching for my wallet, she looked at me and asked to see my ID. My first reaction was stunned silence. I hadn't been asked that in God only knows how long, and then I looked at her and began to laugh. I told her that I was 66. She didn't smile and politely asked again for my ID. I then felt like I was being stopped for some traffic violation and thought briefly about pulling out my insurance card as well. I wondered for a moment if she was trying to pick me up and was a stalker and needed my address. As I handed her my ID, I thanked her for making my day, my week, the last eternity of my life. I wanted to kiss her, but quickly took control of my senses and realized that that might get me arrested. I can just see the headlines now, RETIRED PASTOR, AN OLD GEASER, WAS ARRESTED TODAY FOR MOLESTATION OF A CLERK AT THE LOCAL WALMART. My only alibi would be that it was all my hairdressers fault, but realized that Ashley would probably take the fifth and not say a word. Besides, my wife would never understand it. So in the end I contained myself and quietly walked out of the store feeling ... oh so good.
Retirement is great. I recommend it for everyone.
